huwarghhh.. yum2..

“can’t sleep, clown will eat me…” - bart simpsons

sleepy oh sleepy..
so sleepy i wish i cud sleep..
so sleepy dat d table looks so yummy..
sleeping zzzz sleeping zzz..
wat am i babbling?
cant do my work..
no productivity..
sleepy oh sleepy..
y ur makin me a dummy?
slap me slap me!
ouch it hurts, stupid me..
waky waky u sleepyhead!!
oh my, im havin puffy eyebags..
well who cares?
i just want my 8 hrs beauty sleep!!
d beauty inside n out…
wooohooooo!

“I want to sleep, I want dreams to pull me from this world and make me forget. To stop the memories from swirling around me.To put an end to this ache that consumes me.”
-Carrie Ryan-

by nawwar 29dec2009,12:04pm..
tersengguk2 while waiting 4 lunch time, not to eat but to sleep!nyum2..

saya sangat bersykur ada kamu!

to whom i adore,

when i was about to fall down,
u came into my life..
even for a while,
u gave me so much happiness..
but..
when will dis end?
will it b just for a while?
will it b for d rest of our lives?
i hope we cud b together forever..

it was just so much pain..
to care for sumone who doesnt appreciate it..
but u..
u gave me hope..
to luv n to be luv again..
to forget d sad things..
and remember d wonderful moments..

for this period of time while ur with me..
d way ur eyes looking at me..
n ur prfct smile..
ur ears listening to me talk..
just eases my life to b wit u..
i thank u.. for being there by my side..
i pray to God dat i will not lose u..

saya sgt bersyukur ade kamu!!

wake me up when september ends

this journey..
to be no one to sumone..
ouch.. sakit kot..
almost 5 months have passed by..
til now im waiting..
waiting to be together again like we used to..
waiting u to change as good as u used to..
waiting for sumthin that i cant probably have..
ur love again..

since then, i felt so lost..
no one i can cling to.. only God..
i prayed every day, but still i cant control myself..
what he did, i followed..
its like ive lose my mind..
ive forgotten evrything.. who ive become and who im becoming..
all i care is that my heart has shattered into pieces..
and revenge is so sweet..

i keep prayin so dat one day..
i can forget him and his friends and family..
so God will jodohkan me with sumone who can guide me..
to be a true muslim, n not only by admitting it..

so til when i should be a hypocrite?
i dont know.. im so weak..
wat goes into my right ear, goes out thru my left ear..
im stubborn, im indecisive, im stupid, im paranoid..
if i could just forget evrything..
if i could just run away from here..
if i could just be good again..
will it be til sept ends? oct ends? or d end of d end?
-d end for now-
(coz i might say stupid stuffs and merapu byk lg if i continue…
u want to say dat im poyo, BOLOQ, ntapape?
ske atiku diriku.. c urself in d mirror first..
dats all i got to say..)

movin on..

I lepak at Hartamas wit mimi las nite.. and i got this sore throat for few days now..
it hurts so bad, and i felt i was getting sick..
suddenly tears fallin down,how i miss him badly..
i wish he was there to buy me sum strepsils or just being by my side.. it made me so sad..
then got back home and watched the movie - hes just not that into you..
and learnt sumthin from it..

-quotes taken from the movie-
Sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs.
how to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave.
And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy, maybe it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future.
maybe the happy ending is just moving on.
or maybe the happy ending is this:
knowing after all the unreturned phone calls and broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment…
you never gave up hope. (hope to simply wake up one day, smile at the reflection of yourself in the mirror and not wondering if you’re worth-loving)

And when things don’t quite work out for you two, you will be traumatized by the whole experience. It leaves you a big scar.

It hurts, giving something (along with your heart) to someone only to witness it be shattered into pieces.

Rose Kennedy once said “It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens, but it is never gone.”

hugs

need a hug..
to comfort me..
need a hug..
to heal d heartbroken inside..
need a hug..
so dat i cn be alive again..
so dat i cn breathe again..
so dat i cn be hapy again..
after all d endless pain ive been thru..

its hard to let go..
for all the 10 years relationship we had..
i thank u for the tears of joy..
and the tears of sadness when i was wit u..
its just so easy for u to forget..
when u had ur moments with them..
its just so easy for u to forget..
when u had it all..

u caused me pain, too hard for me to heal..
u bring me misery, too hard for me to handle the difficult situation..
im no one now..
i dont know wat ive become now..
im clueless..

heal me again..
take me to the right direction..
take me where ive started before..
im dying..
my soul is dying..
it hurts so bad..
now im at d lowest point in my life..
how could you be so heartless??

save me… hug me… dats all im asking for..

life is too short for a stupid war!

2009..

dis year, stayed at home..
wondering and sleeping as d clock ticks 12am..
heard d fireworks..
but just ignored it..
y wanna clbrate?
its sad to see other country being attacked..
where is d humanitarianism?
seeing a child being killed, brought tears to my eyes..
y wanna kill innocent people lives?
its been years they suffer..
just STOP!! STOP ALL D WAR!!!!
makes me grateful to live in this country..
but d other day..
i saw this old man was picking used bottles at d parking lot..
finding recycle things that can be sold..
its so sad to see there r still many poor ppl out there..
as long they find rezeki yg halal, God will alwiz be by their side..
there r sooo rich ppl spending their money on wasteful things..
like how paris hilton spent her money $400 a minit buying clothes
just for her new year clbration..
so for this year, i just hope that the world we’re livin in would be a better place,
just as michael jackson’s song..
im hapy to know now he has became a muslim if its true..
another reason i dunt wanna clbrate is..
part of me, im not hapy.. i dunt know wat i really want..
but if i knew wat i want, things will get blurred in d end..
im just hapy to know dat my family and friends are alwiz by my side when i need them..
i would like to apologize for my mistakes i did as for d whole year of 2008..
i know ive hurt lots of feelings..
for 2009, i hope i could get married.. my goal as my age would b 26…
finding the person who really luvs u is really hard..
well its not hard, but sometimes, we cant see it..
we let go of it without tryin to know more of them..
not giving a chance to understand them as well..just looking at d outside, not inside..
but thats just me.. hurting myself more and more to be wit sumone i luv..
im hoping dat guy would take care me more as when i first knew him and how he approached me..
and how he treated me for d first few months of us being together..
i hope d spark will not end… d luv would be just right there… not goin anywhere..
huh.. enuff of all d 2008 craps..lots of hopings and ‘angan-angan’..
open a new book, and rechapter evrthing..
hope i could be a better muslim.. a better daughter-sister-friend-employee, just a better person..
peace to all… ! jiayou!